Filthy Lesbo

Deidre had hair so blonde it was white and she was a bitch. I was sitting in her living room with Jane, who was trying to fuck her, drinking my third cup of coffee and staring at my shoes wondering if I should wait until the hole was bigger before I replaced them. I decided I would.

Jane was clumsily flirting with Deidre who kept turning every advance into an opportunity to remind us of how unattainable she was.

"Maybe we could all go to a movie tonight?" Jane asked. She was using me as a safety net. Deidre wasn't into women, save for herself, and Jane wanted to make sure she could play the "why would I try anything if James was here?" card if she had to. She had explained all of this to me on the walk downtown to the apartment.

"Did I ever tell you I was in a short film?" Deidre said.

"Oh, no. What was it like?" Jane asked.

"It was in college. My friend Raul is a brilliant director and he said only I could play the lead."

"I bet you were great," Jane said.

I sipped my coffee and second guessed my shoe decision.

"Well, I think so," Deidre said. She laughed. She was sitting cross legged on her couch in short shorts and was hiding very little while Jane and I shared the loveseat with the broken spring in the middle. "But what really proved I was great was that after we finished, Raul, who is brilliant, did I say that?"

"Yes," I said.

"Well, Raul told me I was extraordinary and he had never seen a performance quite like it."

"Wow. I 'd love to see it," Jane said.

"Did you fuck him?" I asked.

Jane and Deidre both looked at me. "What?" Deidre asked.

"Just wondering."

"Well, we did date a little yes, but it wasn't serious or anything. Not that it's any of your business, nosey."

I was trying to dissuade Jane from jamming her tongue into that bog.

"Well, a brilliant director, I can't blame you. And with a name like Raul..." Jane said. There was no hope.

"Oh yes, but it was truly out of respect, what we had."

"Do you have a copy of the film?"

Deidre sighed. "No, unfortunately. Raul had the only copy, but he said he was going to destroy it."

"I thought you said he thought you were extraordinary? Why would he destroy it?" I asked.

"Well, he did say that. About me. He just wasn't happy with how the film itself turned out."

"What type of film did you say it was?" I set my coffee down on the end table.

"It was very artistic. You probably wouldn't get it."

"I bet."

"I love art films," Jane said.

"I'm bored. Can we go for a walk or something? It's beautiful out," I said.

Jane looked over for Deidre's input. Deidre was staring at her fingernails. "I can't," Deidre said. "I have to do laundry."

"I can help you do laundry , if you want?"

"You just want to smell my underwear you filthy lesbo," Deidre said and laughed.

"Come on Jane," I said. "Let's go. I'm bored and Dee has shit to do."

Jane was hurt but didn't want to say anything. I didn't always understand Jane.

"Okay," Jane said.

We both stood up. Deidre continued fucking with her fingernails.

"Bye Deidre, I'll call you later," Jane said.

"Sure."

Jane and I left. Jane was a lesbo, and could be filthy, but Deidre was a bitch and Jane deserved better.