Let's Drink Some Wine and Talk about Love.

The worst human experience is unrequited love. Why do you think there are so many poems, films, books, and songs about it?

"I love you, you don't love me."

(actually, I think I may have just made a case for it being the most inspiring, and therefore positive human experience.)

I believed for a long time that I was a member of the Mass Loveless. That all of the emotion I had stored up in my chest vault was all for naught. That I pined and hoped against hope that I would be loved as I loved. That weight above your lungs. That hole. You look in the mirror and all you can see is the absence of the target of your desires. The void. The loneliness. Call it whatever you want. If you know the sheer hell of it, you need no specific name. If you have known it and moved past it, you probably don't need a reminder.

For me, the worst part was looking in the eyes of the girl I loved. You look at their body, and you are able to justify your craving as something primal. Sexual. Easily explainable. But when I looked in her eyes, I could see so much more. I could see outside of time and even what I thought of as reality. A future. A wild, passionate, endless romance. I saw embraces among fireflies. Caresses as I awoke. I saw family thanksgivings thirty years down the line. And the end of life, as we were old and looking back on decades of life together. A beautiful life, unacheivable by any other means.

But, at the same time, I saw a life without. A life alone. Where will I end up without you? Will anything mean anything if you aren't there to share it with me? Why live, if I cannot live with you? This, understandably, sounds childish. Adolescent at best, but if you have ever had that pull for someone, that knowledge, then you know that immaturity has no place there. Insanity, maybe, but a wholly adult insanity. For example, if you are with someone now, and you have not considered whether or not life may not be worth living without them, then you don't love them. I'm sorry. It's true. Love is reckless, crazy, divide-by-zero madness. Against all reason and science. If you don't understand that, then you are yet to truly fall in love. And I am both happy and sad for you.

Hence, the pain.

You see, while love can kill a man otherwise invincible, while love can reduce a kingdom to ashes, a life to memories, a dream to despair, it can also breathe miracles. It can explode your life with a color and vibrancy previously unknown to you. Unknowable, in fact. A level ONLY achieved through love. Love can lift a man beyond all reasonable limits, all limitations. Love can take a broken, empty man, fill him with life, hand him dreams, and change the fucking world. There is no better reason to make something of your day than hearing your partner whisper in your ear "I'm proud of you." Than to know you are loved. Than to know you are desired and needed above all other things. To be looked upon with such passion and compassion. Love is truly unexplainable with words. Both the benefits and risks, but let me try now:

Avoid love at all costs. Unless you can't.

(Audio Version: Let's Drink Some Wine and Talk about Love. by AsaMorris )