A Few Thoughts on Drunkenness While Drinking.

My lips are numb so I drank too much. Or enough. I could probably stop myself from telling someone all the things I want to do to them, but shouldn't drive. Now that I think about it, it's the ideal level of drunkenness.  I find it hard to keep my mouth shut after I have a few too many. Like most people, I assume. They say "a drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts." I'm not entirely sure if that's true, and not just because I am preparing an exit strategy for when I sober up and have to deal with whatever consequences these following  paragraphs create for me, but because I have occasionally been the victim of that ideology. 

I say some fucked up things after a bottle or two. Granted, some of them are true. Sometimes I wake up and feel liberated. Yeah, I want to fuck you. I want to fuck you in a thousand filthy ways. With ropes and wax and bites and moans. Now you know. It's off of my chest. 

And yes, I hope you get bludgeoned into a coma. I hope some fucking Albany crackhead decides to split your skull open with a tire iron because you refused to give up a cigarette.You are human garbage and I feel no shame in being the one to tell you. Shouldn't have stepped on my fucking toes, man.

And yes again, I do love you. My friends. My lady. My love is inexpressible most times. I could tell you and tell you and tell you, but never would you understand. So, inebriated, I hug you. I tell you I love you. I smile at you. My friends. My lady. My chest expands and grows and I have no other choice but to exclaim it.

However, I also say things that are wildly untrue. Things that I would admit to if they were. I told one of my closest friends that he was shit. That I can't stand him. That he was awful and he made me feel awful. He isn't. He doesn't. Sometimes, a drunk man's words are nonsense. A brain let loose, haywire and destructive. What is the desire to be drunk, if not the desire to let go of reason? You loosen up. You say what you think but you say what you don't think also, because you are letting go. You are existing without reason or fear or deadlines or life. You are having drinks and LETTING GO. 

I worry now that what I have said here could be used as an excuse for others to be horrible to people while drunk and blow it off the next day by saying "well, it was just nonsense."

Own your shit. If you're big enough to drink, be big enough to own your consequences. If you meant what you said, admit it. If you truly didn't, fine, but be honest with yourself. Otherwise, stay the fuck away from the bottle.