I had a dream that I was in an abandoned school with a girl I loved and a large group of Russian twenty-somethings were trying to kill us in the hallways. The girls were beautiful and they took their clothes off and I would cut them and they would bleed and still they would try to attack us. We hid in vents and around corners and soon they would find us again. We'd run and soon I fucked a dark haired girl. She was short and her make-up was dark and the girl I loved fucked her and then we killed her and someone else tried to trap us in a corner and we fucked and killed them. They would scream at us. We had done something to them, but I don't speak Russian. We turned a corner and a dark and long haired man saw us and he pointed his knife at us and charged us and from behind us the doors of the hall burst open and a swarm of them burst in and they were blood thirsty and blood soaked and the girl I loved disappeared. I knew then that she had escaped and she was okay and she was safe forever. I darted into a classroom and a red haired girl who had curves and thick lips and hips and the sense of smoke and death and sex and lunacy came in slowly after me. She was nude and by so many standards perfect and she told me in poor English to kiss her and cut her and touch her and fight her.
I did and my blood rushed and beat hard inside me and I ran from the room into an empty gymnasium. There was no light and there was no sound and I could feel them just on the other side of the walls and just waiting and just... waiting...
I was with Michael now and then I wasn't and I was on the phone with him.
"Find a fucking drum set!" I screamed and threw a wrench I had only been holding as long as it took me to write this sentence. I threw it and I knew it had cracked his head. His head was bleeding and he laughed at me.
A small group was walking with me and it was spring in Halcyon now. I had grown up, mostly, in Halcyon and perfect spring is spring in Halcyon. A mutual friend of Michael and I was laughing as I swore at Michael over the phone. I berated him and screamed at him and I knew it all came from somewhere else, that it all meant something else but I told him he couldn't ever play my songs right. He couldn't ever remember what I said to him. He couldn't ever understand. I thought about the short dark haired Russian girl I had fucked and I wanted to fuck her again and then She was in front of me. She wore a beige dress with deep red flowers and black flats. Her make-up was dark and her hair was black and she leaned over a fence near the road and I came to her and ran my hand up her bare thigh and under her dress and pressed against her and we were back in the school in the dark and I knew only blood and lust and she turned and dug her nails into me. I kissed her and felt all there was to feel and she bit my neck and my chest and the girl I loved pulled her hair and kissed her and I kissed the girl I loved.
"I hate you," the girl I loved said.
"I hate you," the Russian girl said.
"Shut the fuck up," I said.
When I woke up I stared at the ceiling and the girl I loved breathed heavily beside me. I breathed heavily beside her. I hadn't been sleeping well. I pretended everything was fine.
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