A Bath

 "Do you wanna take a bath?"

It was dark now and the air was cooling. I was sitting with Sage on Baby Bed, a slowly collapsing and rotting old toddlers bed, pulled from the side of the road at some point. She had affectionately named it and now it served as her outdoor loveseat. Dim garden string lights draped above us (and above the also-scavenged bath tub not far from us in a patch of lillies), a rusted out firepit as a table, and a number of cats wandering here and there throughout the yard.

"Yes."

She nodded and looked down. I felt like she held back something close to a smile and I often noticed her avoiding eye contact. Starting a sentence, looking away and pulling it back in. I understood. 

Safety.

I wanted to know her, and I knew she was afraid of being known, or, maybe, known again. I saw it from the first moment. Her standing on the small porch outside of a bar, waiting for me. Beautiful and armored and trying. I saw a lot about her in that moment. I saw a lot about me in that moment. I understood, but I also understood it was going to make this, whatever this was, challenging.

She stood and set her cigarettes down on Baby Bed. "Do you think it's too cold?"

"The air?"

"Mmhmm."

"I don't know. Maybe."

"I don't know if the water is going to be hot enough," she said.

"Let's find out."

"Okay."

We walked across the small yard to the tub. A layer of dirt and nature smeared across the bottom. 

"I'll have to get a sponge. Clean it out."

I looked it over and ran a finger through it. "Absolutley."

"I'll be right back," she said and walked into the darkness to the house.

I took in the moment. The surreality of it. The lights seemed to light only a small circle in the garden. The tub, surrounded by lillies, as if being offered to us. I took a picture of it, and Sage came back out with an armload of things.

"Okay, let me turn on the water," she said, setting down a few bottles of... I don't know, and a sponge. I picked up the hose dangling on the side of the tub. She walked around the lillies and to the house, bent over into the garden and the spigot squeaked as she turned it. I could feel the pressure of it in the hose before it reached the tub. "Is that too much?" she asked.

"No, perfect." I pulled the cork out of the tub, creating a hole directly to the ground, and began washing the grime away. Running the water over it, wiping with the sponge, cleaning the sponge with the hose. It didn't take long. It was mostly new. One of the bottles Sage had brought out was soap and I poured it onto the sponge and began cleaning the tub, now that it was empty. Soaped it up, washed it off, repeat a couple of times. 

Plug over the drain and began to let it fill. 

Sage stood next to me and watched the water. "Do you think we should add bubbles?"

"Sure."

"I mean... I don't know if it's too early or if this stuff," she reached down and picked up a bottle, "will even make bubbles with the hose."

"It will. We just have to mix it around a bunch." 

"Oh, there's one thing I forgot. I have to go look." She walked into the house and I took my shirt off, watching the water slowly rise. The air was cool but not cold and the water was warm. Sage returned with an open can. "Coconut milk," she said, walking across the dark lawn. "It's good for your skin." The can was open and she poured it into the bath. "Bubbles?" she asked.

"Oh, right." I squirted some of whatever was in the bottle into the water, near the hose, and began using my hand to swirl it around. Soon bubbles appeared and grew and by the time the water was high enough there was a good and thick layer of them across the surface.

Sage took off her shirt and pants and underwear and set them aside. I took off the last of my clothes, wiped the bottoms of my feet and climbed in, leaving room. Sage climbed in slowly in front of me and sat back against my chest. I put my arms around her and set my head back, looking up at the garden lights.

"This is beautiful," I said. "This moment."

"I should have lit a cigarette before I got in." Sage sat forward and leaned out of the tub, rifling through her clothes, eventually pulling out a pack of American Spirits and a lighter. She opened the pack and looked inside. "I thought I had a clip in here," she said. "Guess not." She pulled out a fresh cigarette, lit it, and laid back against me. "Yeah, it is. I love taking baths out here."

I ran my hand along her side and around her breast and she leaned her head back into the crook of my neck and head, with an arm out of the tub holding the cigarette.

Tell myself to keep my fucking mouth shut and enjoy the moment as it was. 

Don't say anything. Don't overthink. Just enjoy it.

I sat in that bathtub in Sage's backyard at night. The warm water on my skin, the cool air on my face, Sage pressed against me. I sat in that bathtub and smelled her hair and kissed the top of her head and I kept my fucking mouth shut.

The moment.